Identifying survival strategies leading to avoidance

Understanding the difference between trigger & activation, survival strategy & coping mechanism, and identifying the coping mechanisms you can shift to foster more intimacy and connection with yourselves, others & the Land

Navigating Activation & Trauma: Understanding Conflict in Relationship to Survival & Care

The Somatics of Attachment Theory

Understanding the somatic impact of conflict in our (collective body), replacing and right-sizing conflict in our body, understanding (somatically) that care is our only currency (The Somatics of Attachment Theory)

Practicing Discomfort Somatically Responsibly

somatic practice + journal prompts to excavate and stay connected to what we really care about to respond to conflict with our loved ones (instead of reacting)

This is where you feel stuck or blocked:

In-the-Moment Responses

• You encounter difficulty in formulating immediate responses during confrontations, often leading to overthinking and regret afterward.

• You struggle with balancing assertiveness with respect, fearing being perceived as "mean" or "aggressive."

Emotional Regulation & Grounding

• You face emotional dysregulation, dissociation, or trauma responses (such as fawning, freezing, fleeing or dissociating) that hinder clear thinking and connection during conflict

• You find it difficult to stay present and manage overwhelming emotions like anger, shame, or panic

Fear & Vulnerability

• You experience fear of rejection or irreparable harm if conflict escalates, along with concerns about losing social value (being left out of the group, being alone and isolated)

• You feel shame and insecurity about personal failings or being perceived as “wrong” in conflicts

• You struggle with feeling safe enough to express emotions or assert boundaries

Conflict Perception & Conditioning

• You’ve internalized fear of conflict as harmful or punitive, based on childhood experiences or societal conditioning (like all of us boo!)

• You associate conflict with personal punishment, shame, or invalidation (because of the carceral politics our societies are built on)

Communication & Articulation

• You fear being misunderstood, invalidating others' experiences, or struggling to find the "right" words

• You rely on intellectual frameworks, but the truth of the matter is that over-intellectualizing your responses to conflict has led you to become great at solving everybody else’s conflict and validating everybody’s feelings… except your own (sigh!)

Shame & Self-Criticism

• You hold in emotions until they fester into resentment or reactive behaviors

• You struggle to balance self-accountability with self-compassion, often leaning into harsh self-criticism

Trauma & Power Dynamics

• You defer to those with more power or privilege, making it difficult to assert righteous anger in inequitable dynamics

• You tend to trauma dump or over-explain as coping mechanisms in intimate or power-imbalanced situations

Shifting Focus to Others

• You find it difficult to focus on your own experience due to distraction by others' reactions, mutuality, or shared values, leading to chronic self-abandonment…

When: Thursday February 13th,

5-8 pm CET

9-12 am PST

12-3pm EST

Where: ON ZOOM

Replay (+ slides) available forever!